The Vampire's House
by Guardian Erin
Summary: A BtVS fairy tale. Buffy's wicked step-mother, Darla, tries to get rid of her by sending Buffy on a quest to a vampire's house in the woods.
1. Chapter 1

**The Vampire's House**

Based on various Russian fairy tales involving the infamous Baba Yaga/ Witch. Now with more Buffy.

* * *

><p>There once was a poor merchant named Giles who had only one daughter who was as beautiful as she was brave, and indeed she was very brave. Her name was Buffy, and her hair - once she bleached the shit out of it - shone like golden sunlight. Buffy was the apple of her father's eye, for her mother had died and they only had one another.<p>

After an appropriate time, Giles became taken by a woman had had also lost her spouse, Darla, and her two daughters, Cordelia and Harmony. And because this woman had a house which was larger and therefore more practical to live in, Giles and Buffy were obliged to move. However, Darla lived at the edge of a forest, and wandering after dark was incredibly stupid because their nearest neighbor was the terrible vampire, Angelus.

Buffy loved her father a great deal and therefore did not complain when her new stepmother pinched her flesh and called her fat, or when the two daughters left her scrubbing the floors while they frittered away all their time with local boys. But despite this, Darla still cursed her step daughter every day for being lazy and disobedient. However much she accused, Giles was only made saddened, but would not fully believe that his daughter would be so rude. And so despite all of her words, Darla found that Giles still loved his own daughter far more than her own.

"Let's be rid of that terrible girl," Darla suggested to her husband. "She is old enough to be wed. Let her have that boy Xander as her bridegroom."

But Giles was terribly reluctant to have his only daughter leave him, and refused Darla at every opportunity until there was no talking to him about the subject.

To resolve the issue and rid herself of the girl, Darla began to make up nonsense tasks for Buffy to do that led her dangerously far into the forest. "Don't come home until you have filled this basket with berries," Darla commanded, when she knew damn well that it was far too late in the season to find so many. But Buffy managed to fill the entire basket and return just before sunset. No matter what the chore, Buffy was able to complete it before the sun set and never ran into the path of the terrible vampire in the forest.

Now as time goes, sometimes one has good luck, and sometimes one is left up a creek without a paddle. As it happened, Giles was obliged to leave home and travel afar, and so Buffy was left utterly alone with her stepmother and stepsisters.

One afternoon Darla decided to make herself a fine cake. She stirred the mixing bowl nicely, but when the time came to add the milk - oops - their only glass smashed onto the floor, and Buffy was ordered to go ask of their only neighbor to borrow some - the vampire.

Try as she could, Buffy could not find a way to reason or argue her way out of the chore until at last she was locked out of the house. Evening was coming and soon night would follow, and there was no place safe from a vampire if one wasn't indoors.

Buffy ran to her only relative - her poor grandmother Joyce - and explained her grave situation.

"Go to the vampire's home," Joyce told her granddaughter, "and give him this jar of pig's blood as a gift. He will not kill you immediately, but instead he will ask you to serve him for the night. Do as he bids, only take care because other vampires in his home will try to attack you. Bathe yourself with holy water so they might not touch you, and wear this cross under your dress and do not remove it. If you find yourself in any trouble, remember that vampires cannot survive in sunlight."

Buffy took her grand mother's gifts and heeded her words, and then was obliged to set out for the vampire's home. The evening was dark when at last she reached a gate that was made entirely out of human bones, with human skulls on pikes around the perimeter, and a lock that was made out of a human jaw.

Buffy shuddered and considered running far away, but before she could uproot her feet, Angelus himself came to the gate.

"What brings you to my home?" Angelus asked. "Do you not realize you've wandered so far to your death?"

The girl was frightened, but immediately put forth her most polite words to greet him. "I've brought you a gift, dear neighbor," she said, and handed him the jar of pig's blood. "My stepmother has sent me forth to beg of you a cup of milk."

"Ah, neighbor!" he greeted in turn. "Come and help me with some simple chores, and if you do well I shall give you what you ask, but if you dissatisfy me I shall kill you and give your blood to my children and your bones to my gate."

"Very well!" Buffy agreed, for it would be a greater pleasure to do some chores for him than her own stepmother, and by far easier.

Angelus permitted her to pass the gate, but as she did, he winced in pain and could stand no where close to her. "Take off your cross!" he cried.

"But you can see I haven't any," Buffy lied, touching her bare neck. Again and again she denied his accusations. "Perhaps my hair causes you discomfort, for it resembles sunlight," she suggested.

Angelus bid her to hide it under a scarf, which she did. Still being near to her brought sweat to his brow, but he could not put a reason to it, and showed her in to his home and told her what her tasks were. First she was to bathe all of his children, then to prepare a meal out of whatever was in the oven, and warm the pig's blood so that it was ready for him when he returned home.

With those commands, Angelus left his house into the fresh night.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Vampire's House**

Based on various Russian fairy tales involving the infamous Baba Yaga/ Witch. Now with more Angelus in leather pants.

* * *

><p>Once the vampire was gone, Buffy procured the holy water her grandmother had given to her and dabbed the water at her skin, then set out to do her tasks.<p>

The house was large and dim, with filthy windows and everything layered in dust. Buffy labored until she had drawn water for two baths, and lit two fires to warm the water. When the water finally gave off steam, she called inside and outside for Angelus's children to come for their bath.

They came one at a time – both men and women, young and old, some with nice clothes and some with rags. The first was a young lady who immediately attacked Buffy and lunged at her with the veracity of a starving wolf. Buffy smashed the vial of holy water into one tub, and then gave the girl such a scrubbing until she quite withered with pain and ran away to die.

The next of Angelus's children Buffy greeted kindly, but again it lunged at her, snapping vicious teeth. But into the tub of holy water went the vampire, who was scrubbed so soundly that he withered with agony and ran away to die.

Each of the vampires tried to kill her, and so each was scrubbed with the holy water until at last Buffy was quite shaken with fear. All of the children were dead and she had failed her first task, and so began to cry.

"What do you cry for?" asked a young man with blonde hair, startling her from her sorrow.

"It was my task to bathe the vampire Angelus's children or else he would devour me and add my bones to his fence. But each one tried to devour me and so I had to put them to death in the tub of holy water and now there are none left."

"Part of that is true," responded the man. "But it's not true that all of his children are dead. I'm the last one. Name's Spike."

Now Buffy still fretted and wrung her hands, for how could this vampire trust her not to put him into the deadly bath?

"Point me to the clean one," he said, "and if you are honest then I'll know you're an honest soul and will do you a good turn, but if you betray me than you'll find I'm seven times seven times stronger than my brothers and sisters."

Buffy pointed him to the tub, and upon sticking his finger into the water, the blonde vampire found that it was safe to his touch and knew she was an honest soul, and so allowed her to complete her task.

"Now," Spike said, "You can tell him that the task was done."

"But how?" Buffy wondered. "His other children are dead."

"Let me take the blame for that, and you'll do me a great favor," he responded. "I've wanted to be rid of them for a long time."

Buffy was disturbed by this, but the vampire gave her no threat, not even showing his fangs to her, and so she went about the rest of her work with relief in her heart. She cleared away the baths and went to the kitchen to prepare Angelus's meal.

But what should she find when she opened the oven? Why, nothing less than a human child all tied up and helpless.

At this sight, Buffy began crying again, but even more than before, for she couldn't see a way out of this situation.

"What do you cry for?" questioned the blonde vampire, hearing her again.

"My final task was to prepare him a meal from whatever was in the oven," Buffy explained, "and it is none other than a living child. I could never kill this child but I don't know how to get out of it, and even if I ran as fast and as far as my feet could carry me, I would surely be found and killed."

Spike pulled the child out of the stove and gave the small girl to Buffy, instructing her to hide the child in a large milk jug. "Leave the meal to me," he said, and Buffy did as she was told.

When the child was hidden inside of a box that looked ancient and neglected, Buffy returned to find that Spike had managed to find a kill a young lamb in the child's place, and he served up the meat as he knew Angelus liked it best.

"Will it fool him?" Buffy asked.

"Not yet," Spike answered, and sliced her finger with a knife. Buffy was frightened and outraged, but the blood dripped into the food and Spike explained, "The blood of a young lady is his Achille's elbow. Now it will smell irresistible to him," and gave her a bandage to tie on her finger.

But instead of using the bandage, Buffy first squeezed out more blood until it filled a little cup, and then gave it to Spike in her gratitude.

The vampire left, overwhelmed with his splendid gift, and midnight was moments away when Angelus was due to be home. Buffy warmed up her present of pig's blood just in time to place it on the table when the vampire returned to his home.

"Ah, it smells delicious," Angelus said, sniffing at the air. "But this child smells like an animal."

"Nonsense, it is the pig's blood you smell," Buffy replied. "Hurry, for it grows colder by the moment and right now it is just right."

Angelus drank at the blood and found that it was exactly as hot as he liked it. Then he ate the meat and found it as tender as a child, and tasted Buffy's sweet blood and was overjoyed. But at the same time, he grew slightly upset as his dinner ended, for as much as he enjoyed the meal, he hated having to fulfill his promise to Buffy.

"Go now," he said at last, "and take a milk jug with you."

Buffy grabbed the jug which held the little girl inside and hefted it carefully, then fled the house as quickly as she could. She barely reached the gates when suddenly Spike stopped her.

"You're in terrible danger," he explained. "Angelus hates to let anyone succeed in his trials. He will either come to tear you limb from limb for spite, or come to make you into one of his undead children. You will never outrun him, for his moves like the wind, but I have three things that can help you."

He hastily procured the three items – the first was a small bag that was tied shut and felt as it something heavy were inside. The second was a piece of leather. The third was a small mirror.

"When he catches up with you, throw one behind you," he said, and then bade Buffy to hurry because Angelus would be coming at any moment.

Buffy took the three items and ran as fast as she could. She left the gate and started through the woods, feeling slowed by the milk jug. Already barely a moment passed and suddenly she saw that Angelus was giving chase, and was going to close in on her.

Buffy grabbed the bag first, pulled at the string with her teeth to release it, and threw it behind her. Immediately a whirlwind unlike anyone had ever seen sprung out of the bag and assailed Angelus.

The wind did not last long, but Angelus's hair was ruined! He let out a scream, horrified to be seen in such a state, and had to stop until he had gelled each strand back into place. Then he ran again.

Now Buffy made it further through the woods, but they seemed to have no end, and Angelus was incredibly fast. It wasn't long before she was forced to grab the piece of leather and throw it behind her.

The piece of leather immediately transformed into the most breathtaking pair of leather pants. Angelus was stopped dead in his tracks, lost in admiring the beauty of those leather pants, and could not go on until they were his. He took the time to change into them, and tight as they were to his skin, it took a long while for him to wiggle himself into them. Finally he had the hottest pair of pants to ever hug his ass, and he took after Buffy again, with the pants doing very little to hinder him.

Now Buffy had almost made it out of the woods and recognized familiar ground again, but still she was too far from home for safety. In another moment, Angelus could be seen again, and a moment after that, he was getting hot on her heels.

The last thing left was the mirror. Buffy flung it behind her and ran even faster.

Angelus was transfixed by the mirror's reflection as soon as it landed on the ground. Small as it was, it was impossible not to notice. He stopped to take it, and was even more astounded when he held it in his hands. This mirror was enchanted, and could show him his reflection! He studied himself, fixed his hair, and admired his amazing ass as much as possible in the mirror, which became even more and more frustratingly small.

While he admired his reflection, the sun began to rise and he did not notice until the sun started to burn at his skin. Angelus yelled and was forced to run yet again – this time as fast as he could in the opposite direction, trying to find a place to hide from the sun.

Buffy continued to run, and she ran until she was in her own yard and a root tripped her foot. The milk jug fell and broke on the earth, but the little girl within rolled out unharmed in the fresh dawn.

And so, Buffy named the girl Dawn and declared her to be her little sister. Buffy took Dawn home to her step mother and step sisters, and the small girl made such horrifying shrieks that after only a week the step mother and step sisters were driven from the house. Buffy was overjoyed at her fortune, and if Dawn became too obnoxious she had only to threaten to return her to the vampire's house and Dawn would shut up for at least half a minute.


End file.
